days where it’s in everyone’s best interest to stay the hell away from me.
Yea, I said it. I’m in a mood today. And I don’t want you to try and cheer me up – I’m not sad, I’m crabby. I didn’t stay up late or go out much this weekend, or really any of that. Quite the contrary, I did a lot of working out, cooking and cleaning (women’s work) so I was quite relaxed this morning. Until I got on the train and the woman next to me spilt her coffee all over the place.
Really, lady? You’re pushing 45, you still need a sippy cup? And are the vulgarities necessary?
As she is cursing, I turn to her, press my finger to my lips and belt out a good ole “SHHHHHHH!”, then wipe whatever coffee that had touched me on her jacket and tried to settle in for my train nap.
Which, I would have easily been able to get back into, if it weren’t for the two morons sitting behind me. They each had an open seat in their row, but chose to yell across the aisle at each other, recapping their weekend of booze, broads and, most likely, venereal diseases.
They caught the death look and a “if ya’ll don’t pipe down, someone’s going to jail this morning”.
The rest of my ride was pleasant, but I guess I forgot that people in NY on Monday mornings don’t know how to walk. I mowed down about four or five people before I even got out of Penn station.
The first man who asks me if “it’s that time of the month” is going to get brained.