“Hide The Crazy”

Sometimes I don’t think people realize just how insane they appear to other people.

Example: I’m on the train this morning.  I took a different train than usual, so there was a whole new group of weirdos to observe.  I had to swap trains at the hub to get to my destination, and the rest of the ride was short – 15 minutes or so – I opted to stand in the vestibule.

Across from a woman who was having a full on conversation with herself.  Out loud.  And I could hear her arguing with herself over the sound of my iPod.

I talk to myself ALL the time, and I talk to my animals all the time, the television, my phone, computer, the wall, whatever I think is listening…but I generally do so in private. 

Last night, I’m on the train home – its chock full of drunk jerkoffs coming back from the parade, so I’m keeping to myself, and I see one of my gym buddies, so we start chatting.  Cut to the inebriated old man staring at me, who blurts out “DO I KNOW YOU?” 

I turn from my conversation, look at him, and say “…I don’t think so?” and continue talking to my friend.

Don’t Lie To Me.”

Mind you – I’m chatting with a dude who looks like he can crush cars with his biceps and I’m twirling an open pen knife in between my pointer and thumb finger.  You really want to yell at me, old man?  Cause I will drop you where you stand.

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