I realized yesterday – after getting some hilariously positive feedback from my yelp and Facebook family – that the debacle from my debit card situation was pretty funny. So I’m going to give ya’ll the lowdown of the saga from my yelp recaps of Churchill Downs and Capital One Bank. Enjoy!
*preface: my debit card account information was included in that hacking scam that affected about 1.5 million people a few weeks ago. I got an alert at like 10PM on a Monday night that my bank account had two very large transactions that I absolutely did not authorize, so I called both my bank and the debtor, and both proved to be VERY unhelpful, which lead to some entertainment for my friends and online families*
Yelp Review of Churchill downs (after three or four conversations with them):
You heard me – f-ck themselves. I must’ve used an ATM with a swipe reader over the weekend, giving some degenerate my debit card information…which they used to charge close to 900 dollars on my debit card. Since I have alerts for shit like that, I caught it and called these idiots to reject the charge.
Apparently they can’t do anything when the actual card holder tells them to. Which makes perfect sense. I also don’t think they know how to speak to a pissed off NYer when it comes to their money, but telling them to just “leave a message and expect a call back” ain’t kosher. And don’t make me wait more than two hours, cause I will call your monkey ass every 10 minutes. 10 business days to issue a refund on an illegitimate charge? I don’t f-ckin think so.
And then you get screwed, without even getting a reach around.
What, that’s not lady like? Well, I’m pretty sure my reaction to the horrendous client service I received from Capital One due to some goddamn breach in security that leaked my debit card information to some douche bags that charged close to 900 dollars to my bank account wasn’t lady like, either.
1. the 800 number – call them only if you want to speak to someone incompetent. Now, that isn’t across the board, because they do have some good client service reps, however, two bitches hung up on me.
2. The tellers in this place – while very pleasant – screwed up a bank check deposit I made (after I had to wait 5 days to file a claim, then wait another 3 days to have the money returned, then have fees refunded when I took the rest of my money out of my account to avoid MORE fraudulent charges being made) – which resulted in another 70 dollars of fees (which, I clearly had reversed -and not by my “relationship manager” who was going to look into it, and doesn’t appear to have a grasp on his internal policies. Bank Checks clear right away jerk, and the deposit needs to be made before 3PM not 11AM, get your sh-t together).
3. Not picking up on my extreme dissatisfaction with their service, the poor woman actually asked me if I wanted to open a line of credit on top of my bank account to avoid fees. I’m pretty sure when I left the house that morning I didn’t have the word “sucker” written across my forehead. Do you honestly think that I want to open an extra line of credit for additional purchases that I didn’t authorize to clear? I don’t f-cking think so.
4. The guys in relationship management mean well, but they need to learn that when someone is pissed off because its taking so long to correct a problem that SHE didn’t cause, you probably don’t want to ask her for additional funds to open up an account that ISN’T compromised. Sure, since you guys did such a great job of appeasing me, I’d love to open another account. And maybe you can add that nice large overdraft to it your teller just mentioned, so when I spew my account number from the Empire State Building, all the degenerates in midtown can use my unlimited draft to buy 40s.
4b. When I tell you I’m thinking of moving to another bank, smiling at me and saying “please don’t use them” and then trying to give me inaccurate information about the other bank – doesn’t fly. Have a little self respect.
5. My credit card got stolen as well – but they were able to reverse the charge immediately and actually contacted me about bizarre spending on my credit card, then cancelled it and sent me a new one. The bank team should take a lesson from the credit department.
I’m actually not as angry now as I was last week – I wanted to make sure that my money was returned before I reviewed these people. On a whole, the actual PEOPLE in this branch are quite pleasant. And while they make idiotic mistakes and have horrible timing as to when they should be up selling someone, they really do mean well. But the actual service at capital one bank is comparable to getting a bikini wax after letting yourself go (I guess, I never let myself go, but that’s another story). Making careless errors on an already unstable relationship simply adds to aggravation, and while they did reconcile the issue, it took entirely too long and the number of jerk offs working here outweighs the number of competent people.
I swear to God, if I find out who the chic is that hung up on me, I’m going to weld her goddamn phone to her head so she doesn’t try that again.