….and about 33% White Trash.
That’s the beauty of being me – I have a diverse enough background to allow me to make fun of just about any group of people (all in jest) without offending anyone. White Trash? Sure, I got some of that in my family. Boricua? Yea, I’m a little Puerto Rican. We have con artists, connoisseurs, bikers, business men…the whole lot in my clan. So I have a free range to say whatever the heck I want.
I’ve been having an internal battle the past few days trying to decide what my 70th post should be about. Something funny? Something serious? Something about doing good for others? A family story? Work? nahhhhhh lets talk about some history….
We slapped on our most redneck comparable gear, loaded my mongrel into her black, three door Saturn and began our journey. When we got to the party, it was pretty much exactly what we expected – loads of people drinking cheap beer in lawn chairs wearing cut off jeans and wife beaters, with a pig on a spit. The host had activities planned (egg toss, nail-in-the-log, flip cup, beer pong, keg toss, blowing stuff up), and we settled right in, tying my dog to a tree and playing games.
*note* my old roommate was kick ass at the nail in the log game – which I hated – I won the female division of the keg toss (and immediately called my mother to tell her – boy was she proud), and we joined forces in Flip Cup, winning several heated games and the overall tournament until the other patrons kindly asked us to stop playing.
As the night went on, we grew more and more tired. I decided to retire to the car and take a nap – with my dog. I should probably mention that it had rained, and we were both pretty dirty. PeeWee and I meandered down the block to where my old roommate had parked the car, climbed in the back, pulled the Navaho blanket (wait, where did that come from?) over us, and settled in for a nap.
We were drifting off into a sweet, blissful slumber…when my phone started ringing. “Brown Eyed Girl“, the song I used as my old roommates ring. “What the hell does she want?” I grumbled to myself, ignoring the call.
And she called again.
Finally I answer and ask her what she wants. “Where are you?” She asks.
“I’m asleep in your car. What do you mean?”
“No you’re not”
“yes I am”
that banter continues for a few minutes, when I open the door to show her that I’m IN her car…and she starts laughing. “oh man. Get out of that car!”
So apparently at some time during the evening, my old roommate moved her car to the other side of the street. And I was sleeping, with a dirty dog, in a complete strangers car. Here’s the kicker – it was the same make and model as my old roommates car. The only differences were the color (it was a dark red, hers was black, but it was night out and there were no street lights) and there were antlers and that bizarre blanket I had curled up in.
Needless to say, neither of us has gone back to the White Trash Bash. We did host our own the following summer – but it wasn’t quite the same.