i’m a little bit country…

….and about 33% White Trash.

That’s the beauty of being me – I have a diverse enough background to allow me to make fun of just about any group of people (all in jest) without offending anyone.  White Trash?  Sure, I got some of that in my family.  Boricua?  Yea, I’m a little Puerto Rican.  We have con artists, connoisseurs, bikers, business men…the whole lot in my clan.  So I have a free range to say whatever the heck I want.

I’ve been having an internal battle the past few days trying to decide what my 70th post should be about.  Something funny?  Something serious?  Something about doing good for others?  A family story?  Work?  nahhhhhh lets talk about some history….

A few years ago, my old roommate and I decided to go to a party in Pennsylvania.  It was thrown by a friend of hers who wanted to create a new tradition.  Enter the First Annual “White Trash Bash”. 

We slapped on our most redneck comparable gear, loaded my mongrel into her black, three door Saturn and began our journey.  When we got to the party, it was pretty much exactly what we expected – loads of people drinking cheap beer in lawn chairs wearing cut off jeans and wife beaters, with a pig on a spit.  The host had activities planned (egg toss, nail-in-the-log, flip cup, beer pong, keg toss, blowing stuff up), and we settled right in, tying my dog to a tree and playing games.

*note* my old roommate was kick ass at the nail in the log game – which I hated – I won the female division of the keg toss (and immediately called my mother to tell her – boy was she proud), and we joined forces in Flip Cup, winning several heated games and the overall tournament until the other patrons kindly asked us to stop playing. 

As the night went on, we grew more and more tired.  I decided to retire to the car and take a nap – with my dog.  I should probably mention that it had rained, and we were both pretty dirty.  PeeWee and I meandered down the block to where my old roommate had parked the car, climbed in the back, pulled the Navaho blanket (wait, where did that come from?) over us, and settled in for a nap.

We were drifting off into a sweet, blissful slumber…when my phone started ringing.  “Brown Eyed Girl“, the song I used as  my old roommates ring.  “What the hell does she want?” I grumbled to myself, ignoring the call.

And she called again.

And again.

And again.

Finally I answer and ask her what she wants.  “Where are you?” She asks.

“I’m asleep in your car. What do you mean?”

“No you’re not”

“yes I am”

that banter continues for a few minutes, when I open the door to show her that I’m IN her car…and she starts laughing.  “oh man.  Get out of that car!”

So apparently at some time during the evening, my old roommate moved her car to the other side of the street.  And I was sleeping, with a dirty dog, in a complete strangers car.  Here’s the kicker – it was the same make and model as my old roommates car.  The only differences were the color (it was a dark red, hers was black, but it was night out and there were no street lights) and there were antlers and that bizarre blanket I had curled up in.

Needless to say, neither of us has gone back to the White Trash Bash.  We did host our own the following summer – but it wasn’t quite the same.



what the hell is going on with this internet censorship crap?  I tried to Wikipedia something this morning and its just a blank effn screen.  Those brits are seriously cramping my style in all aspects of my life.

I digress.  Hello!  Been a while.  The holidays, as I’m sure you’re all curious about, were actually quite successful.  Thank you, Ketel One. 

The other thing I learned about myself is, I’ll do just about anything for charity.  Including a “case race”.  What’s a case race, you ask?  WELL you get a team of four together, and you have to finish a case of beer faster then everyone else.  The stipulation is, you have to have one girl on the team.

I feel like thats just rude, so I went in with a point to prove.  And prove it, we did.  We demolished the other teams, winning by a clear margin and finishing our case in under 7 minutes – even with simply sipping our last beer.  Aside from being able to decide what charity the proceeds went to, the rest of the day people were congratulating me, telling us we’re champions, saying how impressed they were with us…

Ya’ll may not know this but I LOVE ATTENTION.  So I basked in the glow of Victory.

This weekend?  Perhaps a flip cup tournament for charity.  That’s a whole nother beast, my team better be up for the challenge, or just don’t show up, cause I’m in-it-to-win-it.  Next weekend?  10 mile run for charity.

If anyone is feeling charitable, themselves, feel free to donate to my other fundraising endeavor (insert shameless plug here)